How People Hurt Us

There are many reasons why others may hurt us.  In this article I will continue to list some more of these reasons.

Remember that childhood game of “telephone” played at parties?  Everyone would sit around in a circle, one person would whisper something in the ear of the person next to him/her and the message would go whispering around the circle.  How often did the message at the end sound exactly like the one at the beginning?  Rarely!!  Communication is a big, really big factor in our relationships.  More often, than not, it can be a matter of miscommunication or a lack of communication.  Someone did not get invited to an event; another did not get included in a project.  Who was suppose to contact who was not clearly defined and the line of communication fell short.

Years ago, close friends of mine managed church camps.  Everyone who attended a camp or retreat at their location were impressed with their care and attention.  One week-end, however, noone spoke to them or said anything to anyone.  For a couple of days, my friends were confused about what was happening.  It wasn’t until Sunday, when the Bishop realized he had failed to let them know that the intent of this week-end’s camp experience was to be a week-end of silence and meditation, that they understood.  As all of the participants were leaving on Sunday afternoon, everyone was very generous with their compliments about the food, the accommodations, etc.  A few words from the embarrassed Bishop would have saved the day! 

As a result of our being verbal people, too often we don’t take the time to read, study, and listen to the whole story before putting in our two cents worth.  When someone only hears and interprets part of the information, lots of damage can occur.  Our national Media too often presents only part of a story or their version of the story.  As a result, false stories get passed around so much that the wrong story ends up becoming reality for many.  Stop and think about the time/s when you have forgotten to pass on the correct message or have accidently left someone out of the loop.

The domino effect often can result in hurting people who do not deserve it.  Because we are human and nobody is perfect, mistakes do happen.  When someone bungles a job, others are affected.  Personal problems are a dramatic example of spill-over and easily hurt friends and family.  When someone gets hooked on alcohol, drugs, gambling or any other addiction, everyone close to that individual suffers.  An addict inflicts pain on everyone who loves him/her and there is litttle anyone can do until the person hits rock bottom and is ready to leave denial.

One of the most painful hurts is when people develop different goals or relationships that result in their going different directions.  When someone outgrows another person or stops having the same interest, changes occur.  Marriages, careers, moves to a new location will effect our contact time with others.  Almost always, at least one person is left behind feeling lost and lonely while the other person is moving on to new adventures and opportunities.

Every coin has two sides and every situation always has at least two sides.  When you think over the times and the ways your feelings have been hurt, try and see what the other side might look like and where the other party was thinking at the time.  If you still feel you were wrongly hurt, it is time for the act of forgiveness to take place.  The topic of forgiveness will continue as months go by.